


Madame Dwarf and the Lady Elf

by Tfpfangirl13



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf tiddies mentioned, Dwarf/Elf Relationship(s), F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, No Beta, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22618837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tfpfangirl13/pseuds/Tfpfangirl13
Summary: In which an accidental case of seeing someone in the bath leads to misunderstandings, angst, and Aragorn being done with the Fellowship's pining lesbian duo. Just another 'Gimli is a girl' fic but this time Legolas is a girl too. Also I tried to be accurate in my representation of Elven and Dwarven culture but I'm bad basically so yeah.
Relationships: Gimli (Son of Glóin)/Legolas Greenleaf
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	Madame Dwarf and the Lady Elf

'Narrator pov.'  
Legolas didn't mean to see. She's not one to watch someone who's naked without their permission--or even with it as it were--and the humiliation she's faced with right now is astounding. 

"I am so very sorry. I had thought I heard you call for me to come in but I was obviously very mistaken." Legolas murmurs as her cheeks flush. Gimli is giving her an unimpressed look. The Dwarf gives the prince a break and sighs deeply.

"It's fine. I simply didn't expect be flashing a nosy princeling during my bath." Gimli scowls.

"If I may ask, why have you been masquerading as a male? You introduce yourself as Gimli son of Gloin, and have referred to yourself with masculine terminology and pronouns." Legolas notes with a tone of confusion.

"It's safer for dwarrowdams to travel as male. Not many of us, it can be dangerous. So, we braid our hair in a way that presents us as male Dwarves and refer to ourselves as masculine." Gimli explains as she tugs on the soft robe hastily wrapped herself in.

"I see. I had thought it was simply Dwarven tradition to use masculine pronouns for both of your genders." Legolas hums in confusion. 

"And why is that lad?" Gimli grumbles.

"Well I'm not a male and you've been referring to me as such for the entire time we've known each other." The room is silent for a moment before Gimli shouts in surprise.

"What?! You're not male?!" Legolas' lips twist in indignation and she crosses her arms.

"Of course not! I know I have a rather small chest but really Gimli." She murmurs with a frown.

"But you're a prince! You said it yourself!" Gimli argues.

"To my people the eldest child is Prince. The second is Princess and any after that are without official title." Legolas explains.

"You mean to tell me Aragorn's been letting me misgender royalty the entire bloody time we've been travelling together? We fought armies at his side for Durin's sake!" Gimli scoffs.

"I am not offended, meleth-nin." Legolas smiles sadly. She doesn't like how upset Gimli looks. Before they may have had something blooming but now...does Gimli even like other females? Perhaps she's upset because she too had feelings for Legolas? It is understandable if she thought she were falling for a male elf and holds no love for women.

"I suppose it couldn't be helped. Elves can't tell Dwarves apart and Dwarves can't tell Elves apart. You yourself told my Da that I looked like a Goblin mutant." Gimli snorts. Legolas blushes and makes a strange face.

"Well in reality I had thought you were very adorable. My father was--and still is-- very protective of me and the guards always rat me out. If he heard I was fawning over some Dwarf he'd have gone mad. You must admit, it was a terrible portrait though." Legolas giggles with a grin.

"...Aye. My Uncle's wife drew them up. Didn't do my ma any justice but Da loved them. I don't know how many times I begged him to burn them." Gimli grumbles.

"It was still very precious Meleth-nin." Legolas grins.

"That word! You keep using it and I have no clue what it means. You call everyone else Mellon yet I am Meleth. Explain." Gimli demands. Even sopping wet and covered in a robe she's intimidating. Legolas frowns and wraps her arms around herself.

"Nothing I have the right to say." She murmurs sadly. Gimli blinks in surprise and place a hand on her friend's elbow.

"Lad--Lass sorry--as long as you're not calling me anything ugly it's perfectly alright. You don't have to tell me." Gimli soothes. Legolas inhales deeply and nods her head.

"My love." She breathes. Gimli draws back and looks up at her with wide eyes. 

"Forgive me." Legolas rasps before fleeing the room. Gimli starts and steps forward to call after her but the elf is already far off. 

"That went well I think." Aragorn says as he appears in the doorway. Gimli jolts and turns to him.

"Why didn't you say anything you daft Man?" Gimli demands.

"I had some hope that you two were not complete idiots but alas I was proven wrong. Tell me plainly Gimli, do you love her?" He asks seriously. She freezes and frowns.

"Well. Ah. I think so. To be honest I'm unsure." Gimpi responds. Aragorn places a hand over his eyes and rubs his face.

"I can tell you with complete certainty that she is in love with you Madame Dwarf, and that may as well be a death sentence." He declares.

"A wee crush isn't a death sentence." Gimli snaps.

"For an Elf, in love with a mortal? Death is most certain. Elves love but once, as Dwarves do. She will stand aside but close to you, she will never leave you even as you find a husband or wife or what have you, and she will watch you grow old. She will stand by your side until the end of your life and she will mourn and wail, she will curse the Valar, she will lie upon your grave, and she will die of grief." Aragorn shouts with finality. Gimli clutches the robe and gasps.

"I do love her. Da is going to be pissed." Gimli breathes.

"I'll deal with your fathers. For now, why don't I tell you of Elven courting." 

*time skip*

"Alright. You are Gimli, Daughter of Gloin, and you are about to propose to an Elf. Your father will most likely kill you, but Uncle Bilbo says you're his favorite so he'll at least delay him while you escape." Gimli tells herself as she stands outside Legolas' rooms. Shaking herself, she pounds on the door.

"Open up Lass, I know you're in there!" She calls. After a moment of silence, the rusted bolt on the door slides open and Legolas appears. Her eyes are red and her normally fine hair is trussed.

"Oh Gimli, I am sorry. I hope our friendship is not sullied." 

"Shut up. Come here." Gimli orders as she enters the room. She leads the tearful elf to the crackling fireplace and they sit down on the worn rug. Gimli wordlessly pulls out a small leather pouch and unties the frayed strings holding it closed. She pulls out a handful of green beads, seemingly cut from gems.

"To a Dwarf, hair is very important." Gimli begins.

"To an Elf as well."

"Hush! It's taking all my nerve to do this and Aragorn wouldn't let me come here drunk. I know Elves love to make their hair pretty and flowing, but to Dwarves it is more than that. Only parents may braid a child's hair, until they reach maturity. Then they will do so themselves until they meet their One. After this, a Dwarf and their One weave courting braids into each other's hair and beard. As you have no beard, I will simply have to make due with your ridiculous hair." Gimli says as she removes a comb and red ribbons from her satchel. Legolas gives her a confused look and Gimli sighs.

"Meleth-nin. I want to court you. I wish to place braids in your hair. I want to marry you and watch our father's squeal and rage and faint. I have faced armies at your side and would do so again. I want to be your wife and have you as mine." Gimli murmurs, stumbling over the Elven endearment. Legolas stares at her as tears prick her eyes. Suddenly the Elf places her hands on Gimli's cheeks and yanks her forward. She places her lips over the Dwarrowdam's and kisses her gently. Gimli gives a muffled protest but quickly succumbs to the Elf. Legolas pulls back after a moment and the two stare at each other.

"Marry me." Legolas breathes.

"That's the idea, Elf." Gimli laughs in surprise.

"No, I don't want to court. I want to be married. Now." The Elf insists as she takes Gimli's calloused hands in her own. 

"Aragorn told me about Elven marriages." Gimli confesses as her face turns nearly the color of her beard. Legolas smiles and rubs her hands gently. Gimli shudders and their eyes meet.

"I'm not thin or tall, and I'm not hairless. I don't look like an Elf so don't be surprised." Gimli says firmly. Legolas smiles bravely and leans close to her Dwarf.

"You forget meleth-nin, I have seen you naked. I can assure you that I am very much aware of what you look like." The Elf grins. Gimli blushes once more and scowls.

"Perverted Elf."


End file.
